Friendship: Conflict

This isn't exclusively about storytelling or reading - this is also about real life. Recently, I and a group of friends have been studying friendship in depth and its different facets. This is one of the elements of friendship that I've been thinking about a lot, bot just over the last couple days but also over the least few years, thanks to a friend I'm going to call Blue.

Blue and I have been friends for many years, and she's taught me a lot about friendship - not because she's just that good, but because we both need to learn so much. There's still so much that we don't know, and as we stumble into a million pitfalls, the hidden traps of selfishness in the midst of something that's supposed to be about Not Me.


So when we talk about friendship, Blue and I often talk about conflict, about what we do when we disagree or when we hurt each other. We have safety words and we'll agree on a case by case basis when we need a mediator to settle a difficulty. Not everything needs to be a great big issue, but there are things that we are both extremely passionate about on opposite sides of the spectrum and we need those coping mechanisms.


So of there are two things I've learned that I want to pass on, for your stories and for your life, it's this:


1. If there's no conflict in your friendships, then they're not real friendships.

Without vulnerability, a relationship cannot provide the support and closeness we crave.


2. "I love you more than I need to be right."

This phrase is a good one to keep in mind, and a good one to say out loud. When it's true, it's the kind of think you shouldn't forget. Conflict is hard, and it can hurt, but whatever it is you're disagreeing over, it's not worth ending a relationship over.


I do want to say, though, that the story of a friendship that falls apart can be a very powerful thing. The close friendship that breaks, or the friends that can't trust one another anymore - that's a thing any audience can connect with.


I don't think this post was very coherent, but I hope this information has been helpful. :) I'll see you again next time, Inklings.

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